Dogs Kill KiwiSometimes a sign is just so fantastic that, despite my inability to take photos whilst driving, I just have to stop and reverse or drive around the block again, or whatever, just to get a shot.

This one just confused me on so many levels I couldn’t ignore it. At a purely grammatical level I was surprised that dogs kill “kiwi” and not “kiwis”. This called for some further research, whereupon I discovered that although Wiktionary only gives the “kiwis” form, the Wikipedia page on English plural has an interesting discursion on how words of Maori origin can be pluralised with or without an -s.

At a purely practical level, however, I’m completely confused as to what I, as a driver, am meant to do upon encountering this sign. It’s not like I’m travelling with a pack of dogs in the back of my car that I would otherwise have let loose at the first sign of a kiwi. And it can’t just be a simple warning that there may be dead kiwi(s) littering the highway, as it explicitly warns me to be cautious at night. Although the kiwi is generally a nocturnal creature, one would presume that a dead kiwi doesn’t burst into flames or disintegrate into a pile of dust once hit by direct sunlight, and thus a “be careful you don’t run over any dead kiwi” warning should apply at all hours.

So I’m left with the rather unsettling conclusion that I’m meant to be careful I don’t drive into the midst of a frenzied midnight kiwi killing spree, lest the bloodthirsty dogs, freshly exhilarated from the kill, turn on me next.

Dogs Kill Kiwi

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